Dealing with loss is different for everyone. Some grieve right away and others later. Some grieve for a long time and others for a short period.
I don’t think we ever get over losing a loved one. I don’t think that we should get completely over the loss. It is something that sticks with us. It is up to us though, to find a deeper meaning for the loss and a deeper meaning for life.
As you know, if you have been reading this blog, my Mother passed away a few years ago from ovarian cancer. Even though it was a few years ago, it is still hard sometimes. I guess I have been thinking about her more because I am writing about her more. But that to me is proof that she is still here. Her presence comes to me.
I have a friend who is dealing with loss. I do not know her well, but can tell her Mom was close to her. She relied on her Mom for support. When you feel the only person that supports you is gone it has to be hard. I am sure many of you out there may have lost someone who you felt was the only one. But I will tell you there are others that support you. There is something that will always support you.
Your loss of a loved one may not even have been a death. You can lose people to addiction. You can lose people to a lifestyle change. You can lose people for many other reasons.
Loss is loss. Pain is pain.
Many people handle pain and loss very differently. I used to, and still do, find good reasons why bad things happen. I do not just push-off the bad things and ignore them. I just get passed the grief (and we must grieve) and see what the plan is. Even if I do not get a clear picture, and I probably won’t, I look for the plan. This might take a week, month, year, decade, but you will find something and say “wow, if that loss and pain did not happen then this great thing would have never come to pass.”
Now please do not get me wrong, I love, and as you can see, miss my Mother dearly. But I do not blame anyone for her loss. I am not mad at God. I am thankful for the time with her and I feel I am closer to Jesus because of the loss of my Mother. I believe I would have continued down the path of the ritualistic Catholic, just going through the motions because it was what I did. To be clear it was not what she did. I believe she knew Jesus. She was not a go through the motions Catholic. She believed and now I believe I will see her again and we will be with Jesus.
That is me. That is what I believe. TRUTH. You may not. You might be mad at the world. You might be mad at the doctors. You might be mad at someone who caused the death. You might be mad at God.
God does not bump off people. He loves us all. We are all the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45 Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Most of the time it is caused by people. God does not have things happen without a plan. It is unveiled in His perfect time. It goes back to TITL.
If you are dealing with loss and pain I want to encourage you. I want to let you know you do not have to wait to hit rock bottom before you look up and find support. You may feel alone. You may feel you are taking on the world alone. I tell you that you are not. Just look up. Give your pain to Jesus.
Don’t know how? Here are two ways.
1) Pray: Just talk to God. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him what is wrong. Say you’re sorry. Forgive as He forgives you.
2) Read His Word: Get a Bible. Start to read. Even if you do not believe in any of this it won’t hurt to start reading the number 1 best seller of all time. It is the manual some people say they wish life came with. BOOM!
I will leave you with this.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.