When I was a kid, people would tell me how my life will be different when I get married. I didn’t really think it would be. I dated and had relationships. I thought I had it all figured out. Then I got married and well, I was wrong. It changed the game. All the rules I had before did not apply. I tried to still follow those rules. I really needed to throw that book out and follow a new one. I not only needed a new rule book, I needed a new game plan.
Then, when you get married people ask when are you having kids. Then, you get pregnant (I wasn’t pregnant my wife was and God bless her and all women for carrying children and giving birth because you are amazing) and people say, your life is going to change. I should have figured they were right because they were right about marriage, but I said “how hard can this be?” I was wrong again. Another game changer requiring new rules and a new game plan.
With both of these events it may take you a while before you realize the game is different. It took me a while. I was trying to play the same game for a long time and getting no where. Most of the time I was neither the winner or the loser. I was just playing the wrong game.
When you realize this, you must adjust to the game. This is a lifestyle adjustment. You are no longer a party of one. Married you are two equaling one. Here losing may actually help you win. Men and women are very different, more than I thought. We think differently and act and react differently. Recognizing this is a key to the game. Knowing what to do with this knowledge is an even bigger key.
I once heard a pastor say that the person you marry will probably not be 100% like you. They will have things they do that annoy you. They will have hobbies that do not interest you. They will have communication issues and other things that don’t fit your image of marriage. His feelings on that are God puts us with people who we do not agree with all of the time so we learn unconditional love. I believe there is a lot of merit to that. Love is work.
The other game changer I mentioned is having children. I thought it would be like, well, I really don’t know what I thought. I was so bad in the beginning. I was actually afraid that I was going to break my daughter. This little child was my responsibility and I was so afraid of doing something wrong that I would let my wife do everything. That is not a good game plan for that game changer. Now my daughter is three and I am still a little scared I will break her. She is strong but I still worry that something I do will hurt her. But I am taking responsibility the best I can and not just deferring to my wife.
These two game changers also changed my view on the world. For example, my wife and I are really researching vaccinations. We haven’t found definitive evidence either way on if they do more good than harm. No one can give us a straight answer. Even my scientist friend who has a family of doctors argued for them but never gave me a clear answer. She has children so her game changed. Now someone who does not have children has an opinion on this as well. I respect it but their view may change when their game does. When they have to make the choices that effect another human being who they are responsible for it will change everything.
There is one more game changer I would like to bring up. That is Believing.
Believing in yourself will give you confidence. It will help take you places you never thought you could go. It just starts with a little belief and it can build into a huge amount. It is a game changer.
Believing in others will help you believe in yourself. It will also help them to achieve things that they never thought were possible. It will give them confidence and courage. You will help to change their game.
Believing in something higher will change the entire game completely. Having FAITH is an ultimate game changer. Believing that there is a God who is looking out for me, loves me, and wants me to be succesful changes everything. I look at things differently. The game changes I mentioned before start to come into place. Believing that God has my back helps me make the right decisions in the game of marriage and children and business and LIFE.
Without belief can I play these games? Yes. Can I play successfully? Maybe.
Successfully doesn’t mean winning. Successfully means handling the loses and the wins with the same joy. Success means accepting things for what they are but having a willingness to believe I can make bad situations better. Success is never giving up and having faith that no matter what happens God has my back.
To me, Believing is the ultimate game changer. It has changed my game.
(click photo for ways to beautifully organize game changing moments)
What are some other game changers that you have had happen to you? Please drop some comments below. I would love to hear from you.